Men Jokes

Men Jokes.

Why don't men wear tight underwear? It cuts off circulation to the brain!

Why do men have broad shoulders and big foreheads?
When you ask them a question, they shrug their shoulders and say, "I don't know."
When you tell them the answer, they slap their foreheads and say, "Ohhhh."

Why are vibrators better than men?
Because they never screw other women, never come in drunk, and you don't have to do their laundry!

Why do men die before their wives?
They should.

What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need........
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need

How does a man keep his youth?
By giving them money, furs and diamonds.

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
A mental hospital.

What's the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men?
Wife saying she wants to talk to him.

Why are hangovers better than men?
Hangovers will go away.

How are men and batteries different?
Batteries have a positive side.

Why is virginity like a baloon?
All it takes is one small prick and it's gone.

What is the difference between garbage and men?
Garbage gets thrown out and stays out!

How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
No one knows, the ex-wife always gets the house.

Why are men like strawberries?
Because they take a long time to mature and by the time they do most are rotten.

Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
So men can tell if they are coming or going.

Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it's never used.

What do UFO's and caring men have in common?
You keep hearing about them but never see any for yourself.

Why is dating like a game of cards?
Because if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.